Connect
"Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships" Stephen Covey
Family, Relationships, Sexuality
  • 458
    Members
  • 29
    Posts
  • 1
    Events

EDITORS

About this guild

“It really boils down to this: that all life is interrelated. We are all caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tired into a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one destiny, affects all indirectly.” Martin Luther King Jnr 

INTERESTS

Get me outta here

3

I want to be whisked off to paradise by Prince Charming who will look after me and love me forever however badly behaved I am

Busyness… just that word makes my muscles tighten, especially the ones around my jaw. Just recently I've been MEGA BUSY. Did you get the capitals? Yep, too much happening. Too many responsibilities, duties, tasks. I'm existing rather than living. In the lexicon of the self development programme that, for the past 10 years, has held my hand through many of life’s quagmires, I'm ‘driven’… and that’s not a good thing, by the way. 

So this is how it is for me right now. I want to keep earning what I'm earning, I want to keep myself and my kids in our family home and maintain it, I want to support my two teenage children, I want to support my mum who has early stage dementia, I want to keep fit, I want to eat good food, I want to have fun. And, actually, I don't want any of it. I want to run away to a desert island and be left in peace to do exactly what I like when I like. I want to go ‘aaaaaaaaggggggghhhhhhhh, IT’S NOT FAIR’ at the sky at the top of my voice and, my favourite of all, I want to be whisked off to paradise by Prince Charming who will look after me and love me forever however badly behaved I am and whatever tantrums about life I have. 

Back here on boring old Earth, there are some life choices to be made. And here's the thing. I KNOW - and that's a deep-in-my-heart, trust in life/the universe/God/whatever you want to call it knowing - that when I've unpicked whatever it is that's whirring around so fast in my head and has been for so long that I didn't even notice it was there, that life will be joyous once more. I'll make a leap forward in terms of my personal growth, my understanding of life’s exasperatingly rich tapestry, my wisdom if you will. To put it another way, I'll make a decision/decisions that will centre me more within myself, rather than in the ideas and beliefs of other people or cultures that have infiltrated my thinking without my realising, less still my consent. Families, schools, workplaces, industries, politics, advertising, TV, social media - they all have their own damn fine beliefs and cultures, and some of it worms its way into our minds unbidden. Some of it we allow in, a heck of a lot of it we don't but it gets there anyway. That, in a nutshell, is what's happening when we are, so to speak, ‘off kilter’. We've lost our sense of Self. Some people turn to drugs and alcohol when that happens. I think about that desert island, the sky, Prince Charming. And I eat chocolate. The way ahead will untangle my thoughts so that I'm not looking for answers outside of myself but can find my way back to trusting my own wisdom. It won't be just down to my wisdom though - there will be the actual people and the real world around me that will work in synthesis with my path. My wisdom will simply be back where it belongs, at the helm of my life. 

I know this because I have experienced it time and again. The first time, 10 years ago, I had such a sense of freedom, such a release from the burdens I hadn't even realised I was carrying, without achieving any of the goals that I had believed might lead to that freedom, and without the aid of any kind of intoxicating substance, that I knew, immediately, that I wanted to keep getting back to that place, that that was really living. It didn't involve winning medals, having large amounts of money or a brilliant job, and it didn't involve looking like a beauty queen or having an impressive home or fancy jewellery. I felt more alive and vital than I ever had and that, as far as I was concerned, was the holy grail discovered. And it wasn't just me; all the other 50 or so participants on the course felt it too. One woman looked 20 years younger than she had at the start of the course. There was a warmth and joy in all of us that sounds, writing it down now, like the stuff of gooey reality TV. I don't - I suppose I should say didn't - really do that happy, clicky, gushy kind of stuff, yet there I was in love with everyone in the room, nay the universe! Love filtered between and around us, binding us, invigorating us in an utterly unforgettable and energising way. In those moments, anything and everything is possible, doable, manageable. From that space, life flows, connections abound, outcomes don't matter.

So you see, although I'm terribly terribly busy right now, and although I still dream of desert islands and Prince Charming, and winning and earning more and looking good and having a big house, I will, in fact, make sure I'm on the next train out of here and away from this madness. 

The next More To Life Weekend takes place 7-9 July. See moretolife.org or message @kateedgley

 

0
Share:

3 Comments

More From Kate Edgley