I was so looking forward to having a break over Christmas... (facedown in a duvet, pile of steamy werewolf novels) but I can report back from the homefront.
Pre-Christmas kids are adrenaline fuelled, stir crazy, hyped up on magic and sugar... INSANE.
I’m lucky if I get to stay in bed until 7am and the whole day is spent trying to stop them Sellotaping each other to the wall. Then I have to stay up until 1am wrapping shit crap capitalist snot wank presents, all while mainlining Prosecco and Ferrero Rocher.
This morning they were fighting over a piece of string! ￼Not even a good piece of string.
I feel like Macaulay Culkin’s mum without the amazing knitwear.